Sjogrens and Sinus Problems

KathyW1958 · Fierce Wolf Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Posts: 583

Hi Jenny
I am so glad that you have adopted these children. I am so glad that the American Indian Tribunal did not step in and take the child from you. I think that they did not do this, because it is the father that is Indian and not the mother. I don't understand fully why that it is like that, but it is. I am glad though that you will be able to adopt him without any legal problems. God Bless you. I also think that women that mess with Meth and Cocaine should get sterilized, because of what it does to the children. I feel the same way about actively drinking alcoholic women that get pregnant and continue to drink, because of what it does to the baby. I guess we just don't live in a perfect world, but I am sure glad that you rescued these children.

Kathy
_________________
Lupus for many years. Like most of my life. Sjogrens that started at 35 and Spinal Stenosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteo-Arthritis of the spine, Ankylosing Spondilitis, Periferal Neuropathy, mild CP and now just recently diagnosed with PA. I had a disc replaced in December of 2007.

Medications:
Plaquenil, Sulindac, Imuran, Celiac diet, Tramadol and B12 shot once a month.

laurid8967 · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:16 am Post subject:

Jennyfoo,
What a true blessing you are in this world to take on not one - but THREE - children with special needs. This combined with your illness makes you quite special, indeed. I dont know if I told you this already, but I worked as a social worker specializing working with familes of children with special needs. I know very well what goes into just a normal daily routine for you Moms - and Im truly in awe of Moms like you. Sensory intergration is very difficult to deal with - do your children receive occupational therapy? My nephew has Aspergers with sensory intergration and my best friends son is autistic. Actually, right now, she is going through a REALLY difficult time, as he has hit puberty, and has become self-injurious. He has never had this behavior before, and she is going through such a tough time. She is divorced as well, and has two daughters and her elderly mom to take care of as well.
Anyway, again, Thank God for people like you, who take on these precious little ones. Also, Im ALL FOR the steriliztion...I cannot be sympathetic to someone who cant manage to take a birth control pill everyday if they continue to use drugs. God Bless You, jennyfoo, theres a special place in heaven for Moms like you....
Love Lauri
_________________
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference...

Jennyfoo · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:03 pm Post subject:

Funny you should mention Asperger's: my bio daughter who is 10 has Asperger's. It is highly likely that I do to, but I "grew out" of a lot of my issues- I am still antisocial, a bit obsessive, and have anxiety problems, but I manage just fine. My daughter was not diagnosed until she was 7. She showed signs back to infancy, but we didn't really know they were signs since she was so much like me and my hubby as a baby(he's most likely ASD too).

When I kept having miscarriages, adoption was a no-brainer for us. Adopting kids in foster care was also a no-brainer. I think if more people knew the resources available for children who have been in foster care and are adopted, that we'd see more adoptions through foster care. I was completely unaware of the continued stipends,etc when we first began Xander's adoption nearly 6 years ago.

Xander is the only one with occupational therapy since he gets it through school. He does well in a normal classroom and only has mild delays, but will be repeating Kindergarden this coming school year. We actually question the diagnosis of mild retardation and so does the school dist, but it's a good dx to have since it gets him services through the local regional center. With proper intervention, he's doing fabulously.

We'll see how Desi(4) does in school and if she has any delays. She is ADD, but no medication. So far she's done fine with preschool and one of the main reasons we caught onto Xander's delays was because Desi was passing him by in many ways.

Thank you both for your kind words. I believe that my place in the world is to make a difference in any way that I can. I love children and although it is tough at time, I would never change a thing. It's a good fit for me and my husband to be doing this. We always wanted a large family anyway.

KathyW1958 · Fierce Wolf Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Posts: 583

Hi Jenny,

I am glad that you are taking care of foster children. The foster homes for the most part have gotten better then they were when I was 5 years old. I was placed in a foster home, because I got molested and my piece of crap father that molested me blamed it on my oldest brother. My twin sisiter and I were placed in a terrible foster home, where the foster father was a total Alcoholic and the old hag foster mother was mean and would whip on us every chance she got. I had a very bad experience in foster care. I am glad that you are a loving and kind person. After my sister and I left that home, we made sure that she never got to be a foster parent again. I guess we were not the only children that reported her, because they did a big investigation and she was told that she would never be allowed to have any more foster children as they deemed her unfit in the State of NY. I am glad though that you care, because foster children really do need a lot of love and understanding.

Hugs,
Kathy
_________________
Lupus for many years. Like most of my life. Sjogrens that started at 35 and Spinal Stenosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteo-Arthritis of the spine, Ankylosing Spondilitis, Periferal Neuropathy, mild CP and now just recently diagnosed with PA. I had a disc replaced in December of 2007.

Medications:
Plaquenil, Sulindac, Imuran, Celiac diet, Tramadol and B12 shot once a month.

Jennyfoo · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject:

I'm so sorry your experiences in foster are were so terrible. My baby was neglected in his first foster home. I have no idea how someone can just sit a baby in a swing all day and not interact with them, cuddle them, love them. Jordan would be brought to visits with his b-mom and she'd have to bathe him because he was dirty. She was glad that he was placed with us because we took great care of him, but she was not happy that we were an adoptive placement.

Just to clarify, we don't do foster care per se. We are foster care certified so that we can foster to adopt. CA law is that we have to foster for 6 months at least before we can petition for adoption. We are getting lucky with Jordan and despite all the previous scares and hardships, his b-mom decided to go ahead and sign away her rights and stop fighting. We will be able to petition for adoption about 7 months after he was placed with us.

Before I got sick, we were planning on maintaining foster certification for emergency baby foster placements in the future- not to adopt, but to spare some children and some adoptive families what Jordan went through and what we went through in helping him attach and bond and feel safe and secure.

Jordan's b-mom is pregnant again and due sometime in the late fall/early winter. If foster care wants to place with us, we are planning on adopting that baby as well if I am stable and doing ok. That will make meth baby #5 for her. I just hope and cross my fingers that this next one is a boy. I can't imagine having another African American daughter's hair to fix with my hands being so bad. LOL! Desi's hair kills my hands! It's gorgeous, but it takes a lot of work to maintain in cornrows and braids and even more to maintain in ringlets or twists.

KathyW1958 · Fierce Wolf Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Posts: 583

Hi Jenny,

I am sorry I totally misunderstood. I am glad that you are adopting the children. I am sorry to hear what happened to Jordan in that foster home. You are a very wonderful person to help these children out. I am wondering if that woman could get help to get off of the Meth? I hope that the baby that she is carrying will be ok. It is so sad. Five children to this sorry woman. I was only able to have two children. I wanted more, but that was not in the cards for me. I am happy for little Jordan. He will have a good life and he will bring you great joy. Good luck and I hope that the new baby will be with you as well and that it is a little boy.

God Bless,
Kathy
_________________
Lupus for many years. Like most of my life. Sjogrens that started at 35 and Spinal Stenosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteo-Arthritis of the spine, Ankylosing Spondilitis, Periferal Neuropathy, mild CP and now just recently diagnosed with PA. I had a disc replaced in December of 2007.

Medications:
Plaquenil, Sulindac, Imuran, Celiac diet, Tramadol and B12 shot once a month.