frustrated

commonsns1 · Not So Newbie Joined: 10 May 2008 Posts: 7

While I am certain women have many of these same feelings, I think men have a harder time dealing with my current frustrations. For 20 years I was an eletro-mechanical technician with and electronic engineering degree. I absolutely loved being a field technician. I loved the income, I loved the freedom, I lovd the satisfaction of conquering problems.

Well, those days are gone. The effects SLE has had on my cognitive functions have pulled me from bring talented enough to be a service manager to being a slow and unreliable technician. Even while I had retained the energy to work full time, I made so may errors in the field the company owner thought I was screwing up on purpose. So, my lifelong career is gone.

I started a business repairing appliances, far simpler mchines than what I use to fix, with the service calls infrewuent enough that I can take my time and triple check myself to eliminate dumb mistakes. To make ends meet, I took a job as a clerk at the local 711, midnights 4 nights a week.

But now, I am simpler sicker than I was a year ago and can no longer work that many shifts. It is terribly upsetting to find myself being able to do less and less and less to support my family. I've gone from main bread winner, despite my wife's good income, to very nearly a burden on our finances.

And so I'm home alot... I can find other ways to help, right? Cooking, cleaning, projects... and I did, for awhile... but now I'm too tired, too hurting or, at the worst times, simply too confused to get things done around the house.

I'm not giving up, mind you. I have a voice many find incredibly soothing so I am invertigating voice over work, hoping I have a hidden talent for voice acting. Maybe I'll finally finish the book I've been writing for 12 years. There are always options.... but man, it's hard seeing my input in my home grow less and less physical, hard watching my youngest through a window while he play out in the yard under the poison sun. Hard, too, letting some greedy mechanic charge me 30 times what I wouldspend had I the energy to do the repair myself.

I don't mean this in an offensive way, ladies, I understand you all have the same wants and needs, so please don't gt mad when I say the following.... this disease is emasculating. And sometimes, like today, it all gets to be a bit too much.

Thanks for letting me whine.

Bruce

commonsns1 · Not So Newbie Joined: 10 May 2008 Posts: 7

i just re-read this... my apologies for the terrible typing... i use to type so well... lol....

TERIOD · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject:

I think youre not the only male with these feelings, as a diesel tech for many years it is very hard to watch other people carry my load around the house, I thought it would be better once i got my ssd established with monetary input but it isnt,my teeanager doesnt have a clue when it comes to lupus(I dont think he wants to know), I feel if the people around me(not my immediate family) think Im just flat out lazy since ive managed to gain 60 lbs from steriods,,Im not sure but i think its because they cant imagine some of pain presented in my back and major joints let alone with having to deal with nephrology, all i can say is keep your head up
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Fair Oaks California

rob · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 3:59 am Post subject:

I have many of the same problems Bruce.

Morpheus · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject:

Hi guys, Im really sorry this is happening. Im a 26 year old web developer, computer science degree.
I have a good career, no wife yet, but had lupus for 13 years now.
Reading all these, i just cant help but to wonder if this will happen to me.
If so, are there any pointers, advice for when it does.
What are your coping techniques.
Having lupus is bad enough,friends and family deserting you when you need them is the worst thing.
And Losing you career that you have worked so hard to achieve is HELL!
So please, im rather in a place where i think this might happen to me as well.
Any thoughts, suggestions?
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I intend to live forever, so far so good Smile

rob · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 4:45 am Post subject:

I try to stay busy, have hobbies, and talk to others with lupus. I try to enjoy my good days, and push through the bad ones. Other than that, I'm afraid my coping skills are not very good.